neverneverland

I am currently stuck in a weird Peter-Pan-mentality. I never want to grow up. I’m turning twenty in half a year and something about saying goodbye to my teens is very strange. I’m entering a time when it’s less acceptable to live the carefree existence of a child. I need to start taking responsibility for my future and it’s hard because I, selfishly, haven’t yet decided that I want to become an independent and functioning member of society.

I’m in a self-sabotaging cycle of not seeking out opportunities that might be beneficial because I’m afraid of where they will take me. Fear is at the root of this entire predicament. I’m scared of change and what it will mean for the life I’m used to. Dave Bard once told me, “no trepidation”. I like this phrase because it rings so true to my situation and my life, and trepidation is fun to say. I can’t be afraid to take a chance because if I never do I may never be successful, in any sense of the word.

I may have an opportunity to do something this summer that would be so fantastic for my plan to be a writer/editor/super(wo)man and I am absolutely terrified. To not jinx myself, I’m not yet going to reveal this opportunity to the blogosphere. All I can say is, no trepidation.